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Ozland. Wide the hell open.
Much as the Knave of Hearts enjoyed his job, he enjoyed his days off even more. Especially here now in Ozland, where he didn't know the land as well. He spent his time now exploring, getting used to the weird things here that were different from the weird things in Wonderland. Like the mechanized things walking and rolling around, whirring and flashing as they did. A lot of Wonderland's inhabitants had come here as well, and he was put at ease by the bread-and-butterflies, by the singing flowers, and by the walking, talking animal-people. Strange that that was what was familiar and comforting.

That wasn't to say everyone in Ozland was odd. There was some normalcy about. People who looked ordinary, even as they grew or shrunk according to what they ate or drank. That was nice and familiar too. Knave decided he might as well spend a good part of his day getting to know what was going to be his new home.

Tags: knave of hearts, floradora

From: [info]floradora Date: 06/17/2007 11:58:44  

"Good deed done"

Floradora said as she poofed into the New Emerald City, and especially into the path of the Knave of Hearts. The smoke from her teleportation still clung in the air causing Floradora to not be able to see exactly where she was going. Which made it easy for her to trip over a Munchkin and come crashing, right into the Knave of Hearts.

"Raaaasspberries" She bellowed as she fell.
From: [info]stolethetarts Date: 06/17/2007 12:13:20  

One moment, Knave was watching a strange clockwork metal thing walk jauntily by, and the next a smoky fleshy ball of person had crashed right into him. He immediately caught at whoever it was before they hit the ground hard, and blinked in surprise. "Er, are you all right?" Knave asked, wondering where the hell this person had suddenly come from.
From: [info]floradora Date: 06/17/2007 12:47:46  

Floradora coughed a bit, spitting out brightly colored feathers from her hat. She dusted herself off a bit and straightened the large feathered hat on her head, and like a lady she curtsied at the Knave and smiled a wide shocking smile. Said smile was shocking because at that moment her teeth came falling out of her mouth and fell with a plop onto the pavement.

She bent down to pick them up and smiled a wide toothless grin. Taking extreme caution to put them back into her mouth, Floradora spoke up.

"Looks like I'm in one piece, so I think it's safe to assume I'm allright." She said.

"Might I trouble you enough to ask, where I am?"
From: [info]stolethetarts Date: 06/17/2007 13:01:28  

Knave watched as the woman put her teeth back in her mouth. It was by no means the oddest thing he'd ever seen, so he simply responded to her question with, "You are in Ozland. I assume you've never been here before?" He'd snapped into officer mode, without quite realizing it.
From: [info]floradora Date: 06/17/2007 13:09:26  

"Ozland?" Flordora wondered.

She was still quite new to the land of Pentamerone. After her breif jaunt into Mehrdadstan when she traveled here in the first place, to her recent excursion in Estervale. She scratched her head confused.

Then she got a good look at the man in front of her for the first time. He was tall, he was handsome, he was bulging with muscles. Floradora giggled to herself as she thought all sorts of filthy things.

"Where are my manners. Allow me to introduce myself, I am: Her Majestic Divine Self Madame Mimsie Floradora LaContessa Marmalada Sugarlugar Nixie Poppingdom-LaRoux" She said as she walked in a circle around the Knave, making sure to get a good look at his rear end. She may be six weeks older than dirt, but she isn't dead yet, and she did quite enjoy to take a good look every now and again.

"But, that's far too formal, You can call me Floradora instead. Or just Flo, if you wish. Can you tell me dear sir...In Ozland how is the job market for Fairy Godmothering?"

From: [info]stolethetarts Date: 06/17/2007 13:21:05  

Well that was a hell of a name. What the... Well thankfully she gave a nickname because damned if he was going to call her all that, assuming he could even remember it. "I am the Knave of Hearts, commander of the brute squad, Hearts regiments, of the Queen of Hearts. You can call me Knave. Welcome to Ozland." He was intending to give a short bow, a small dip of the head in greeting, but Floradora had started circling him, and... did she just check out his ass? Knave's eyebrow went up. "Fairy god-mothering? I'm sorry, I don't follow." Her feather hat tickled at him as she went and he resisted the urge to brush to them off.
From: [info]floradora Date: 06/17/2007 23:18:15  

Floradora was indeed checking out the Knave of Heart's ass. In fact if the area was a bit more crowded she might have pinched it and blamed some Quadling woman for it. Yet, Floradora was a lady, and ladies don't pinch on the first introduction.

"A Knave is it?" She said trying to remember some sort of rhyme from her youth in another world. Something about tarts and flatulence or something of the sort. Of course the rhyme Floradora is remembering ends with a few choice almost pornographic images, so it's best that her mind was hazy at the moment and she didn't remember.

"The leader of a brute squad too, how...forceful of you. How masculine, rugged, and oozing with testosterone" She said as she began to fan herself with her hat, the feather going back and forth underneath the Knave's nose.

"I declare I must have the vapors" She said as she clung to the Knave for support, taking care to feel each bulging muscle in his arm.

"What was that? Oh..Fairy Godmothering.." She said when the Knave mentioned it.

"It's my place in life, it's what I do. I grant wishes and help people who are in need of help and down in their luck. in fact I just helped a small mermaid regain her beautiful singing voice. I fancy she has quite the future for her. I ask if Ozland has any need for Fairy Godmothering becuase well, seems like a cozy place to settle down at" She replied.

Ozland, the most bizzare place in Pentamerone. Seems hand in hand with our fairy godmother.
From: [info]stolethetarts Date: 06/17/2007 23:46:52  

The ogling wouldn't have bothered him. The fawning and touching was a different story. He brushed the feathers away a bit unkindly and then stepped back when she started to cling to him, not really caring much if she fell again without the support.

He was a knave after all; he would never make claims to be a nice person. "Vapors? Yeah, you might wanna get that checkoed out, or something. But as for the fairy god-mothering business, I wouldn't suggest going about granting too many wishes here; the new queen of Ozland's very picky about just how things happen. Her way, or no way."

Knave watched her curiously. She found Ozland cozy? It was odd as hell. Well, then again, she seemed just as weird. Maybe she'd fit right in.
From: [info]floradora Date: 06/17/2007 23:52:22  

Thats all she needed to hear.

"A Queen, that means there's royalty, that means there's balls. Balls mean there are little girls out there in Ozland wishing to go to said balls."

She went into her purse looking for her magic wand. She had dresses to conjure after all.
From: [info]stolethetarts Date: 06/18/2007 14:01:06  

Knave shook his head. "You don't understand. The Queen of Hearts does not hold balls. Ever. The Queen plays croquet. And the last little girl who played croquet with the queen nearly got her head cut off. Maybe this isn't the best place to grant fairy-tale wishes. I wouldn't want you or any children ending up with no heads on their shoulders."
From: [info]floradora Date: 06/18/2007 20:21:09  

Floradora slumped dejected and put her bag back down. This Queen of Hearts seemed like no fun at all. Although Floradora did play a mean game of croquet she didn't want to play with anyone who had a thing for beheding people.

"Who died and made her queen anyways" she said in a tone similar to that of a child told that he wouldn't be getting the toy he wanted.
From: [info]stolethetarts Date: 06/18/2007 21:52:16  

Knave shrugged. "Likely, the previous Queen. Spades, I think she was." Knave sighed. "I don't know too many places around here, but maybe there are some other kingdoms with less... particular monarchs where you could fairy god-mother as much as you want."
From: [info]floradora Date: 06/19/2007 00:06:03  

Floradora was not happy at all with the Knave's answer. She was already not too fond of this Queen of Hearts.

"I bet if this Queen wanted her wishes granted she would come crawling back for me." She said huffily.

"But I feel really sorry for all the children of Ozland." She said as her ancient mind was already plotting cunning plans. The Queen of Hearts didn't necisarily need to know that she was invading her land and granting wishes underneath her nose.

"Well my tall, dark, handsome, muscular, taught buttocks weilding, chum...I suppose I must take my leave of this place. Hopefully your Queen won't chop everybodies heads off then burn it to a cinder while playing strip-croquet"

She said as she grabbed her magic wand and fiercely cast her next teleportation spell.

She was not at all happy with Ozland right now, and she wanted to get out of there before she met this queen. In a puff of bright lime green smoke she was gone...

...but not without a pinch on the Knave's buttocks.
Community: [info]pentamerone
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